Creating healthy boundaries.

What can be the happiest time of the year for many can be a miserable time for others.  And this year, with all of the unexpected ups, downs, and whip-arounds, our nerves and emotions can be on edge.  We can be more vulnerable than ever before.

While some are putting out festive Welcome doormats, we can feel like a doormat. Not being able to say No. Others taking advantage of our good nature. We say “sure” with a smile on our face, while inside we want to scream.

Maybe it’s time to set some boundaries for yourself. Creating healthy boundaries is important to not just get through the holidays but throughout the year.

Don’t feel guilty for setting a boundary. This is about taking care of you. Remember that you can’t help anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first. You wouldn’t feel guilty for eating healthy, so try not to feel guilty when telling someone else no or doing what is needed to protect your emotions.

First thing you need to do is take the time to determine what you will or won’t participate in or accept. And include who you will do things with, as we all have those people in our lives who make our blood pressure rise just by hearing their name.

Then be ready to say “no.” It’s a very hard word for so many of us to say, but it’s so important.

And it’s equally important to take the emotions out of it. Be polite. Be calm. Be nice. Harder than it sounds, I know.

Here’s a tip - find a friend to practice saying no to. Maybe even someone with the same issues you have that you can be there for each other. Or give us a call. Practicing in a safe environment with someone you trust can be a great step to success.

One more thing that can work very well is to always have a backup plan which will get you out of a situation you don’t want to be in. We’re not talking about lying, but having something you can always fall back on. Like a home improvement project, a self-improvement project (like taking an online course), or plans with that friend who is always there for you.

If you are having a tough time this holiday season, we’re here for you. You can give us a call at 234-466-6274 or head over to the contact page and fill out the form to send an email or schedule an appointment. We want you to have a very happy holiday season, and are here to help however we can.